Saturday, 21 September 2013

Funny money (part 2)

 If you think the statements below sound crazy, it’s because they are! Although these analogies are within a personal context, it’s quite scary to realise that many of these processes are going on in the financial centres of the western world.

Invest in some debt today before it’s too late!

Do the right thing and ask for a bail out. Your country will be proud of you!

A friend of mine owns a local bakery. To grow his income stream he is offering cheap debt coupons with every loaf of wholemeal bread.

I am investing in debt for the economic health of my country.

Yesterday I placed a bet that I will go bankrupt next month. I think this is going to be a nice little earner for me!

You owe it to yourself to max out your credit card. Don’t worry, you will be keeping many people in a job in the process.

Let’s go down to the debt superstore and pick up some junk bonds, they are great value at the moment.

I need to go out and get myself a loan to help me pay the interest on my debts.

I am buying up all the debts of my neighbours. They will spend the new cash on things they don’t need, but hey, it makes them feel better and keeps the system ticking along.

I evaluate myself to be worth £25,000. Based on this calculation I will re-mortgage myself and the newly created mortgage debt will be split into four pieces. These chunks of debt will then be used as Christmas presents to my friends and family.

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